July 2007 Archive
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July 30, 2007
More Ways Women Get the Shaft
Not only are women paid less than men, but when they try to say it's our fault because we "don't ask", then we find out that women who do ask to be paid fairly, are perceived negatively, too!The traditional explanation for the gender differences that Babcock found is that men are simply more aggressive than women, perhaps because of a combination of genetics and upbringing. The solution to gender disparities, this school of thought suggests, is to train women to be more assertive and to ask for more.Got that? Can't win for trying.
[However..]
men and women get very different responses when they initiate negotiations. Although it may well be true that women often hurt themselves by not trying to negotiate, this study found that women's reluctance was based on an entirely reasonable and accurate view of how they were likely to be treated if they did. Both men and women were more likely to subtly penalize women who asked for more -- the perception was that women who asked for more were "less nice".
"What we found across all the studies is men were always less willing to work with a woman who had attempted to negotiate than with a woman who did not," Bowles said. "They always preferred to work with a woman who stayed mum. But it made no difference to the men whether a guy had chosen to negotiate or not."
"This isn't about fixing the women," Bowles said. "It isn't about telling women, 'You need self-confidence or training.' They are responding to incentives within the social environment."My advice is still to never accept the first offer. Negotiate. And hope like hell you're dealing with someone who doesn't subconsciously look down on women who stand up for themselves. And if you're not, do you want to work for them anyway?
It's still a really tough bind to be in, though.
<=> | in: Civil Rights & Feminism
2 Comments --
You know, this reminds me of so many other things, where women's reluctance is cast as our weird, dumb little timid weakness instead of a logical, rational realization of what's in store for us otherwise. I don't anticipate you need to ask me which other issue I'm referring to ... :-/
Posted by: Janis on August 1, 2007
July 24, 2007
Another ~Niece Portrait
Another portrait shot of NieceTheThird taken this weekend (she's 7 months). I printed this one. The thing I find so fascinating about babies faces (well, some babies faces) is that you can see a glimpse of their grown-up face and personality if you look at them just right.
<=> | in: Journaling
July 23, 2007
Of a Certain Age
Just an anecdotal observation, but for the record (and hey, it's my blog)..In just the past two weeks, two friends of mine - both women, both mid-to-late-30s - have faced situations at work where the obvious answer is to promote each of them to a leadership position. In both situations another individual, a man, junior in rank or qualification, is also apparently under serious consideration for the job, against all logic and in contradiction to previous discussions with my friends. Funny, that.
When I was in my early 20s I listened to and believed the feminists of a certain age who said that once you're no longer a cute young thang and have become serious competition for leadership--especially over other ambitious men, that that's when the glass ceiling really begins to make its appearance. I've seen my own effectiveness diminish in certain ways as I'm no longer the precocious and bright youngster (ain't she precious.. walks, talks, and thinks!), but instead become the authoritative and doesn't-want-to-deal-with-bullshit (approaching) middle-aged woman. ("A woman? Said no to me? Me? Mr. BIGSHOT?? How dare she!" I paraphrase, of course.) I've talked to women a decade or more older than me who have warinesses I'm only beginning to acquire. But acquiring them quickly, I am. There's a reason, after all, that age discrimination protections kick in at 40.
It's all so very, very depressing.
My vacation is over. I have to go back to work tomorrow. From peeks at my email box, multiple piles of messes to untangle await me. Ohhh. Joy.
<=> | in: Journaling
2 Comments --
Well, that sucks.
Funnily enough, when I first read your initial paragraph, I was in a debate state of mind, and thought a point about Clinton and Obama was going to follow (even tho' I know you're leaning Edwards.)
To digress a bit, I've been in several political conversations now -- usually with Democratic women of my own age -- where my antipathy for Clinton as the Democratic nominee has been ultimately explained by my having an underlying problem with strong women in leadership roles. (Strange, since -- like many men my age, I'd wager -- I've had many more female than male bosses...but this is exactly the type of peculiar, irrelevant factoid one tends to brings up when defending against the charge of latent, myopic sexism.) At any rate, this gets to be quite frustrating after awhile, tantamount to my arguing that people who don't like Obama are racists.
But your post here helps put things in perspective -- I sometimes forget, being [a] a guy, [b] often idealistic to the point of naive, and [c] out of any normal occupational structure at the moment, how strong and ominpresent the glass ceiling remains in most places of work, even ostensibly progressive-minded ones. Sad but true. (I just wish it wasn't invoked so often to deflect criticism of Clinton...but that's obviously a very different issue than what you're writing about here.)
At any rate, hope the vacation was refreshing and rejuvenating. :)
Posted by: Kevin on July 24, 2007
What really drives me crazy is the "cute young thangs" who think that because they've never experienced gender discrimination, there is no such thing. They seem to be commonly found in the tech biz, and I find that I can't decide whether to slap them or weep for them (sometimes I want to do both, simultaneously).
You'd think the fact that I've been in this biz for almost thirty years might give me some cred, but no.
Posted by: Dori on July 24, 2007
Virginia Beach -- First Impressions
We made our first trip to Virginia Beach this month. Spent 3 nights in the new Hilton on the north end of the beach on the boardwalk. We'd been thinking about heading to the Outer Banks, but since VA Beach is closer, we figured we might as well try that first. I just wanted "beach" (as in the ocean) for part of my vacation.My impression before we got there was that Virginia Beach is basically kind of a tourist pit. And parts of it definitely are. However, parts of it are being spruced up. The Hilton we stayed in is only a couple of years old, and there's another resort hotel going up practically next door to it. Also, the beach is just fabulous. It was busy, but not too busy while we were there. We could find space for a beach blanket near the water - and early morning walks were excellent. (Since we're cautious about too much sun, we walked the beach in the early morning, and then swam in the late afternoon, avoiding peak sun and peak crowds.) There is something truly atavistically compelling about the ocean - I could just bob in the waves for a very long time.
We'll be going back. Here are a few pics of the pretty water.
<=> | in: Journaling
4 Comments --
okay....sunrise over the ocean is just wrong ;-)
sounds like you had a great time!
Posted by: BEG on July 24, 2007
Sunrise over the beach is completely wrong. I had the same reaction the first time I visited Virginia Beach myself!
Posted by: Katxena on July 24, 2007
is it just me or is teh beach completely deserted?
Posted by: david on July 26, 2007
Virginia Beach is my favorite place! We own a timeshare at the Ocean Beach Club, just down from the Hilton. My husband and I are a long six weeks away from our annual trip and I can just hear those waves calling to me. Thanks for the great pictures and we love the sunrise over the ocean. My husband has to get up early every morning just to see it!
Posted by: Lisha on August 3, 2007
Blackberry Problem - Hep me, Lazyweb?!
For some strange reason, as I just twittered, my Blackberry - as of about 10:30 yesterday morning, has stopped receiving mail on my Pair.com (uncorked.org, etc.) accounts. It's still on the Internet, still gets Outlook (work) mail, still gets gmail (through the gmail app that I installed), but isn't getting any of my other personal email.I have no idea why - I haven't been messing with settings or anything like that. I went into the mail setup app and everything seems normal.
Help me, lazyweb, help, help! What other kinds of troubleshooting could I do?
<=> | in: Technology
July 21, 2007
House Projects (and Projects and Projects and Projects)
We officially have too many house projects to choose from. Put another way, we have not enough money (can't win Powerball unless I buy a ticket - I know, I know) to just do them all at once and are trying to figure out what to do next. We've done a number of upgrades and fixes over the years and are now trying to decide where the best leverage is, assuming we'll eventually sell this place. That is, if there are things that we'll be told we need to do when we put the house on the market, we'd rather do (at least some of) them now and in the near-term, so that we can enjoy them for a bit ourselves. So we talked to a real estate agent this morning about what the place needs and what kinds of things she would suggest we prioritize.Most of the things she recommended were already on my list. And a couple of things on my list, she said not to bother with. Basically, there's a huge list of things that could help when and if we eventually sell. So now we have to decide what order we're going to start doing these things in. I don't have the list in front of me at the moment, but some of the things we're considering (in no particular order), are:
- New flooring - all levels. The carpet on the main level is really rather skanky, so we definitely want to get that replaced (by hardwood or another carpet, not sure).
- New range/oven - again, our old range is original (read: old and not functioning well), so that needs to go sooner rather than later as I'd like to get some use out of a nice new range.
- New vanity in the master bath.
- New flooring in kitchen and master bath.
- Reface the cabinets in the kitchen? Sigh. I'd been hoping to avoid this.
- Front landscaping.
- Paint interior. Been putting this off as well - mainly because of the disruption. And having to choose colors.
- Get rid of tons of our crap if we ever want to show this place. I go into open houses a lot and we'll probably have to remove about 1/3 to 1/2 of our crap to show this house well. That's not for awhile (unless a miracle (aka DIVE housing market, DIVE DIVE!) happens), but something to keep in mind as I load up piles for Goodwill.
<=> | in: Journaling
5 Comments --
Sounds like the painting can be put off until if/when you're actually gearing up for a sale, and at that point, you can punt on the color choice issue and just go with white...
Posted by: genehack on July 22, 2007
I agree with genehack about painting -- unless you personally feel strongly about it, wait. Then you can rent a storage unit and put a bunch of your stuff in there, get it painted, and list it right away. Painting would be easier with less stuff in the house, and the house would show better.
Also, I *love* *love* *love* the online version of consumer reports. I dropped my subscription to the magazine, because the website has a complete archive of all of their reviews, plus all their reviews that they do on a rolling basis (for major appliances for example). I've used it when I bought my dishwasher and fridge, and for buying a new range (we are doing that right now). I also use it for little things, like blenders, pots & pans, etc. I cannot recommend it enough.Posted by: Katxena on July 23, 2007
I second the online subscription to Consumer Reports. I find myself looking up products in there all the time!
We just went through a remodel of a small bathroom and got a new floor in the entryway, and although I'm very happy with the result, it was such a huge pain in the ass. And now the rest of the house looks shabby in comparison! Ugh.
I know that realtors are just trying to help you sell your house when they make their suggestions, but the whole idea of having to put 3/4 of my stuff in storage, paint the whole damn thing white, and bring in some tacky floral arrangements just chaps my hide! My stuff is freaking awesome, and people who don't like looking at it don't deserve to live in my house. Nyah. Jerks.
Posted by: JenB on July 24, 2007
Get the new range!
You'll enjoy it and they don't cost that much so if you end up having to get another one before you sell the house, it won't be that big a deal.
If the housing market DIVEs you're going to be hurt as a seller. If you know it's going to dive, sell your current house now and rent for a while. (I wouldn't have the guts to do that but I actually know a couple who pulled it off around the mid 90's.)
Posted by: SixtiesLibber on July 25, 2007
Both painting and carpets I would hold off on until sell time, unless it is something you want to do for you. You will want both to be all freshy-fresh when you list anyway, and they are the two that are most likely to get beat up from everyday living. Number one would be the stove, and in fact all of the things having to do with a kitchen facelift. All items you can enjoy (even the flooring, so long as you go with durable) and that will still look good in a few years. Also, do the front landscaping -- again, you can enjoy it as you go, and that is much harder to do all at once.
As for getting rid of crap -- yes, do, for your own peace of mind, but when it is move time, pack up all books and knick knacks and rent a POD. Well worth it!
Posted by: Dineen on July 30, 2007
"They are responding to incentives within the social environment."
What I loved about that article was that the entire time I was reading it, I was nodding and saying "well, *duh*." I doubt there was a single sentence that was surprising to a professional woman.
Posted by: Sidra Vitale on July 31, 2007